The Chain: How to Understand and Change Behavior Patterns
- 9 hours ago
- 8 min read
Updated: 7 hours ago
What Fleetwood Mac and DBT can teach us about figuring out how we got here.
By Sarah Plassman, MSW, LISW-S
Sheesh! And Other Thoughts on Being Human
Back in 2022, I went through a fairly significant Fleetwood Mac phase.
And by phase, I mean I played enough Fleetwood Mac that I permanently altered the ecosystem of my Spotify account.
You know how Spotify is supposed to gradually learn who you are?
Mine learned that I was apparently a woman living through a complicated breakup in 1977.
I did this to myself.
One of the songs that came up constantly was “The Chain.”
Understandably so. It is a classic. That opening backwater guitar, the harmonies, Mick Fleetwood's drums, and then that bass line toward the end that somehow manages to sound like something very important is about to happen even when you have heard the song four hundred times.
It is an excellent song for dramatically driving somewhere when, in reality, you are just going to Kroger.
Now, I do not claim to be a Fleetwood Mac historian. There are people considerably more qualified to explain the interpersonal family tree of Fleetwood Mac.
But I do know this:
The making of their 1977 album Rumours was... complicated.
Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks were breaking up. John and Christine McVie's marriage had ended. Mick Fleetwood's marriage was also falling apart. There were affairs, breakups, hurt feelings, tension, and somehow these people still had to come to work and make an album together.
No thank you.
And somehow, out of all of that came “The Chain.”
What makes the song even more interesting is that it was not originally created as one neat, complete song. Different musical pieces and ideas were brought together, and all five members of Fleetwood Mac ultimately received songwriting credit.
The final product was essentially built...
in pieces.
Something from here. Something from there. Different people contributing different parts until eventually all those pieces became one thing.
Which, considering the state of the band at the time, feels almost too perfect.
Five people whose relationships were coming apart created a song by taking separate pieces and figuring out how they connected.
Which brings me, somewhat unexpectedly, to therapy.
Because I love “The Chain.”
And I also love a DBT skill called Chain Analysis.
And the song and the skill are surprisingly similar.
Behavior Has a Backstory
Chain Analysis starts with a pretty simple idea:
Behavior does not just appear out of nowhere.
No, no, my friend.
It started way on back somewhere.
Before the thing you did, there was usually something else. And before that, something else.
A situation. A thought. A feeling. An urge. A body sensation. Another thought about the feeling. Then possibly a feeling about the thought.
A real emotional layer cake.
By the time we arrive at the behavior, whether that is yelling, shutting down, avoiding, sending the text, spending the money, using a substance, self harming, or doing something else we later wish we had handled differently, it can feel like it just... happened.
Usually, it didn't.
There was a chain.
And much like Fleetwood Mac, the final product often makes considerably more sense once you figure out how all the pieces got put together.
So What Exactly Is a Chain Analysis?
This is where I always feel like Chain Analysis is much easier to do than explain.
The concept is simple. The setup can feel a little like someone handed you IKEA instructions for your emotions.
So hang in there with me.
A Chain Analysis is a DBT tool we can use after an unhelpful, ineffective, or sometimes straight up damaging behavior.
The goal is not to put yourself on trial afterward.
It is to answer:
How did I get here?
We look at the behavior, what prompted it, what made us more vulnerable beforehand, all the little links that followed, and what happened afterward.
Then comes the useful part.
We go back through the chain and ask:
Where could something have gone differently?
Let me show you.
Okay, Show Me the Chain
Imagine you text your partner around lunchtime.
A few hours go by.
No response.
Eventually, you send:
“Whatever. Clearly you don't care enough to answer me.”
Then you put your phone down with considerably more force than was necessary.
Not your finest moment.
The Problem Behavior
We start near the end.
What did you actually do?
I sent my partner an angry, accusatory text after they did not respond for several hours.
That's it.
We are analyzing behavior.
We are not writing a one star review of your entire personality.
What Started It?
In DBT, this is called the prompting event.
Here it is simple:
My partner did not respond to my text for several hours.
But that does not explain everything.
Two people can experience the exact same event and respond very differently.
So we back up.
What Made You More Vulnerable?
Maybe you slept poorly.
Work was awful.
You and your partner have felt disconnected lately.
A friend canceled plans.
You skipped lunch.
By 3:00 p.m., you are tired, hungry, stressed, lonely, and already wondering whether anyone likes you.
Excellent.
The emotional forest is crispy.
This does not excuse the angry text.
It gives us context for why an unanswered message may have landed very differently on this particular day.
Now Follow the Links
You notice there is no response.
That's weird.
You check your phone again.
Still nothing.
A little anxiety.
Maybe they're annoyed with me.
You remember they seemed quiet that morning.
Your stomach tightens.
Check the phone again.
They have definitely seen this by now.
Now anxiety becomes hurt.
You remember the argument from two weeks ago.
I always care more than they do.
Now you're angry.
You check social media.
They were active twenty minutes ago.
Oh.
Well.
Now we have evidence for the prosecution.
So they CAN use their phone. They just don't want to talk to me.
More hurt. More anger. Urge to confront.
And then:
“Whatever. Clearly you don't care enough to answer me.”
When we tell the story later, we often summarize all of that as:
They didn't answer me, and then I got mad.
Chain Analysis says:
Hold on.
There were about seventeen links hiding inside that and then.
That is where the useful information lives.
What Happened Next?
Maybe sending the text gave you a little relief.
You finally did something with the anxiety and anger.
For thirty seconds, that felt better.
Then your partner responds:
I was in a meeting. What is going on?
Now they are defensive.
You feel embarrassed.
The two of you argue.
The original problem was an unanswered text.
The new problem is an actual relationship conflict.
The behavior solved something for five minutes and created three new problems by Tuesday.
Also very human.
Now We Change the Chain
We go back and ask:
Where could this have gone differently?
When you first noticed the anxiety, maybe you could have reminded yourself:
I don't actually know why they haven't answered.
You could have checked the facts before checking Instagram.
When your stomach tightened, maybe you put the phone down and walk away for a few minutes.
Maybe you send:
Hey, I'm noticing I'm getting in my head a little. Text me when you get a chance.
Maybe you needed lunch.
Never underestimate the clinical importance of a sandwich.
You do not have to change every single link.
Sometimes changing one link changes everything that follows it.
We can also look farther back. Maybe you need more sleep. Maybe you and your partner need to talk about the disconnection that has been building. Maybe you need to notice stress earlier instead of waiting until your nervous system is hanging on by one emotional thread.
We cannot prevent every prompting event.
People will continue failing to answer texts.
Emails will continue arriving despite my objections.
Life remains committed to occurring.
But we can become better at noticing what we are carrying into those moments.
And if our behavior caused harm, we repair it.
Maybe:
I'm sorry. I made an assumption and sent you an unfair message. You hadn't actually done anything wrong. I want to handle that differently next time.
Understanding the chain gives us compassion.
It does not remove accountability.
Maybe You Really Can Break the Chain
So after learning all of this, it turns out you really can break the chain.
And thankfully, not in the way action movies would have us believe, where you have exactly one chance to save the day, there are three seconds left on the clock, somebody is screaming into an earpiece, and the future of humanity apparently depends on choosing the correct wire.
Therapy is considerably less cinematic.
Usually.
In real life, we get more than one shot.
Every thought can be a link. Every feeling, body sensation, urge, action, assumption, or decision can become another place where the chain keeps going...
or changes direction.
You can notice the thought and choose not to follow it.
You can feel the urge and pause.
You can check the facts.
Ask for help.
Eat the sandwich.
Say what you actually mean.
Take a break and come back.
Repair sooner.
There are often far more opportunities to change course than we realize.
Sometimes the problem is not that we have no choices.
We just cannot see them while the chain is moving quickly.
And that is what Chain Analysis gives us.
A way to slow the whole thing down and notice:
Oh. There was a choice here.
And another one here.
And another one here.
More opportunities mean fewer unnecessary consequences, more chances to respond skillfully, and a little more ownership over the life you are building.
You do not have to wait until the final millisecond to save the day.
You do not have only one shot.
Sometimes there are seventeen links. (usualy more)
Which means there may also be seventeen opportunities to do something different.
And once you learn how to see them?
You really can break the chain.
Sheesh.
Want to Look at Your Own Chain?
If you recognize a pattern in your own life that seems to go from something happened to and then I did this faster than you can make sense of it, it may be worth slowing the sequence down.
Therapy can help you understand what makes you more vulnerable, notice the thoughts, feelings, urges, and behaviors that keep a pattern moving, and find places where you may have more choices than you realized.
At Agape Counseling Center, our therapists work with people navigating anxiety, emotional regulation, relationships, stress, life transitions, and patterns that can be difficult to change alone.
You do not have to figure out every link at once.
Sometimes you just need to find the next one.
Try a Chain Analysis Yourself
Sometimes the easiest way to understand this skill is to actually put one of your own experiences on paper.
Use the Agape Counseling Center Chain Analysis Worksheet to look at what happened, what you were already carrying into the situation, the links that followed, the consequences, and where a healthier response might change the chain next time.
The Agape worksheet is informed by DBT behavior chain analysis as described by Marsha M. Linehan and uses original wording and design for educational and skill building purposes.
References & Further Reading
Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
About the Author
Sarah Plassman, MSW, LISW-S, is a therapist and owner of Agape Counseling Center in Centerville, Ohio, and the author of Sheesh! And Other Thoughts on Being Human. Being a therapist has shaped the way she sees people, relationships, pain, joy, growth, and all the complicated things we carry with us.
Through her writing, Sarah shares some of what she has learned from years in the therapy room, her own life, and simply paying attention to what it means to be human, with clinical insight, compassion, curiosity, and usually a little humor.
Because apparently, if she goes too long without saying something weird, she starts becoming suspiciously well adjusted, and nobody wants that.
Disclaimer
This article and accompanying worksheet are for educational and reflective purposes only. They are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment, diagnosis, crisis intervention, or professional advice.
Behavior Chain Analysis can be useful for understanding patterns, but some behaviors involve risks that are better explored with a qualified mental health professional. Understanding why a behavior occurred does not excuse harmful behavior or mean that every consequence could have been prevented.
If the behavior you are analyzing involves suicide, self harm, violence, substance related danger, or another serious safety concern, consider completing a Chain Analysis with a qualified mental health professional rather than relying on a worksheet alone.
If you are in immediate danger, are thinking about suicide, or are at risk of seriously harming yourself or someone else, call 911, call or text 988 in the United States, or go to the nearest emergency department.
