You Don’t Have to Curate Yourself Here

Honesty in Therapy: Why You Don’t Have to Hide

By Stephanie Ezea, MS, LPCC-S, CDCA

I recently saw a meme that made me laugh.

A therapist is sitting across from her patient saying something like, “I feel like you’re making so much progress!”

Meanwhile, the patient is smiling while thinking about all the things she has very intentionally not told her therapist.

It’s funny because it’s painfully believable.

We curate ourselves.

We decide which parts are safe to show. We soften some things. Leave other things out entirely. We filter our pictures, and we filter our conversations, too.

I would like to create a therapeutic space for you where you don’t have to do this.

In fact, I encourage you not to.

Didn’t follow through with the boundaries you said you would?

Come.

Took back your terrible ex? The same one you stated you would never take back?

Come.

Took them back multiple times?

Come.

Started the diet, stopped the diet, started again? Still vaping? Still shopping? Still Amazon-ing?

Come.

Amazon-ing should absolutely be a word. I am personally far too familiar with this particular struggle. 😅

I’m proud of you for coming.

It takes bravery to intentionally spend time trying to understand yourself, especially when something didn’t go the way you hoped.

Maybe you weren’t ready. Maybe it was harder than you anticipated. Maybe you changed your mind. Maybe you genuinely don’t know why you keep doing it.

We can figure it out together.

Jesus showed us what it looks like to receive people exactly as they come.

A man with leprosy approached Jesus and asked Him to heal him. His condition could leave someone socially isolated and considered untouchable.

“Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out and touched him.” — Mark 1:41, NLT

Jesus could have healed him without touching him.

He touched him.

Then there was the woman caught in adultery. She was brought before Jesus publicly, and the religious leaders said the law called for her to be stoned.

Jesus told them:

“All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” — John 8:7, NLT

One by one, her accusers dropped their stones and left.

Jesus was without sin. He was the only person there who could have thrown the first stone.

He didn’t.

Jesus met people as they came to Him.

He was honest and honoring at the same time.

I follow Him.

His example matters deeply to how I want to receive the person sitting across from me.

So when I say come as you are, I mean it.

Bring me the part you feel like you have to curate when you’re with others.

You don’t have to do that here.

I’m just glad you came.

We’ll figure it out together.

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About the Author

Stephanie Ezea, MS, LPCC-S, CDCA, is a therapist and clinical supervisor at Agape Counseling Center. Her clinical work emphasizes creating a compassionate, honest therapeutic relationship where patients can explore difficult experiences without shame while still being supported toward meaningful change.

Disclaimer

This blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for psychotherapy, diagnosis, individualized mental health care, or emergency services.